This is some of the best satire I’ve read in a while. Journalists, take note. It’s high time we stop playing the victim and start looking for innovative ways to draw and keep subscribers. I’m convinced it can be done without cowing to corporate interests.
Just for You, Commas in All the Right Places!

Somewhere between sleeping and wakefulness, there is American Airlines Flight 526. It courses over the vast nothingness in the middle of the United States, from Seattle to Chicago, every night; this time of year it takes off long after the sun has set and lands before the horizon even starts to glow.

My Ambien kicks in just about the time the twin thunks of the landing gear retracting “makes” my seat recline itself. I miss the beverage service and whatever witty commentary the captain had to offer. I wake up somewhere shortly before landing, but don’t pull off my blue Rite-Aid eye shades until the plane is on the landing roll. The K Concourse is interminably long, filled with the oddly welcoming scent of McGriddles. The sight of a man pushing a hand truck loaded with bundles of Tribunes and Sun-Times reminds me where I am.

I am slightly spiteful of the wonderful world of codeshare that was supossed to make flying easier for the common traveler. American wouldn’t let me upgrade to First Class. Not because I was too poor, not for lack of miles, and certainly not for lack of seats up front. No, I had committed a grievous sin, booking my flight on Alaska. Their computer systems couldn’t talk to each other, I was told. If I really wanted my first class seat, I would have to go outside of security and across the airport to the Alaska ticket counter, where an invariably confused agent would first tell me it was impossible, then try booking it, only to find that some fucker named Larry had redeemed 15,000 of his Sapphire Elite Miles and taken the last seat, while some other guy switched his crappy middle seat for my coveted window seat in Row 10.

More than anything, this is a matter of simple economics. A publicly traded company wouldn’t let me give them money. Isn’t that strange? What company doesn’t accept money with open arms? And people wonder why legacy airlines are suffering so much. I can only guess that American has evaded bankruptcy thus far by other more substantial measures. There was not a single gate agent in the entire American concourse until less than an hour before the Dallas redeye, at the gate next to mine, was set to leave. Cost-saving, yes. Customer-saving, not so much.

NYT: At Center of a Clash, Rowdy Children in Coffee Shops

Yes, this story is the No.-1 most emailed story on the New York Times right now. The quick summary: Some parents are outraged after a bakery owner in Andersonville put up a sign reminding kids to “behave and use their indoor voices.” Sounds grand to me.

There are several things that grabbed me about this story. Sure, kids are loud and full of energy. That’s kinda the point of being a kid. But whatever happened to teaching and reinforcing manners? If the anecdotes in the story are true–kids screaming, flailing and crashing about the store–then perhaps there is a problem with how kids are being raised. I’m not about to generalize as to what the source of the problem is. But it is high time that parents take responsibility for their kids’ actions, including teaching their kids what is generally “acceptable” behavior in public spaces.

Of course, what does it say that this story ranks above bombings in Jordan (at least for now), election results, and Intelligent Design?

Ever notice how about half the cars include instruments and controls at one end? Obviously when that car isn’t at the front, the right half is locked shut, and the left half is open, with two seats. A cubicle if you will. And looking above said seats, a very industrial metal…thing. With buttons, two levers (marked Left and Right) and a microphone. Riding my brown line home the first time today, I was exceptionally tempted to pull on the levers, which I imagine open the doors, if that box were active. So does the glowing green light on it mean it was active? Interesting.

First the history: The Weekday Hump show was a weekly 2-hour radio program on Whitman College’s own KWCW. It started in 2002 with co-host Adam Hardtke. Annie Batie and I co-hosted in the 2003-2004 school year, and Garrett Stiles was my partner in crime in its third season, the 2004-2005 school year. By the end, it had gained a broad listenership in Walla Walla and who knows where else. The format covered the news of the week, commentary on said news, and call-ins. Lots of politics. And a goodly amount of news we thought was important that didn’t get the coverage it deserved. Sudan anyone? Judy Miller and Jim Taricani were popular subjects after the first of the year. You get the idea.

Which brings us to the present. Watch this space for evolving commentary on major (and minor) news events, and observations on my world. Huzzah.